waiting at the doorway sliding open all the time
welcomes me
and i step inside
only to forget
my place to hide
a thief tomorrow
given me so much
lost all the details
and lost her touch
sliding backwards
through the doorway
i slide back to see what's left
spilled the secrets of her childhood
no, nothing more, catch-cry theft
im coming down
with the come down
to find myself here
until
"i love you" she said
"i love you till i'm dead" she said
and the happiest man alive
until she but a bullet
straight through her head
im stuck in a lift
it's hurtling down
at unimaginable speeds
beyond my comprehension
im in a total, constant
state of panic
my insides feel
all
nervous and deadly
light stinging tingles
floating in the vacuum
of my soul
i don't even work here
my brain
a swinging pendulum
ticking and tocking
relentless distress madness
the last thing i remember
is waking up
in some sort of
bed
of some sort
i had been sleeping
i was surrounded
by a foul smell
and covered
in a thick and syrupy
sweat
outside a silent world
of chaos and destruction
omnipresent violence
a continuous collision
a never ending fight
to a never ending death
without a sound
the window shatters
and shards of glass
fly
like a slow motion super-nova
i'm cut and bleeding
i bleed on the sheets
and books
that lay scattered around this
bed
i stood up and looked out
the broken window
the street below
madmen, some naked
running and spreading
their madness throughout the streets
in my car
i drive
to my left is
the setting sun
the last one
that's ever to say
goodbye
nice try
i always thought
the setting sun
smelt like
cut-grass
and smoking bbqs
and sounded like
the tschock
of cans beer being opened
no matter what the weather
the sunset
the dusk
was always a relief
not so hot
not so cold
anymore
this day is over
and another one
is gone
forever
one more closer to death
but we're faced
with the most beautiful
daily occurrence
as a reminder
that everything is
going to be okay
blood spider-webs
down my wrists
the steering wheel
somewhere
between sticky
and slime
i pull over
the smashed up
music store
is looted and tooted
a continuous saggy drone
from a lone saxophone
depresses me
a couple of leaps
and im clear of the broken glass
inside the store
i snatch and pocket
an expensive harmonica
it's black
in a red velvet sock
- well, it's not too expensive
but i'd never buy an harmonica
for this price
or meet anyone in my life
who would
it slides in my pocket
nicely, snug
out the window i walk
amongst the outsiders
safe enough
far enough
away from the danger
but close enough
to know
to mind their own business
and care only for themselves
a couple of blocks up
a stabbing took places
everyone and people
scrambled
i didn't see
who stabbed who
but i saw blood
and sensed the panic
like a heat-wave morning bird call
i turned a few corners
to distance myself
from the shit
through the crowd
i saw a familiar face
an old girlfriend
of a man i once knew
i called her name
and i called it again
registering who i was
she smiled and hugged me
we stood outside a bar
and the waft of stale beer
and old carpet
tempted me
anyway, it wasn't safe
she spoke of her marriage
i spoke of my dead wife
i kept toying with the idea
of getting a beer
with her
and showing her
my harmonica
maybe playing something
for the first time
but i didn't have the courage
i caught a train home
the sun was long gone
never again
i thought to myself
as i walked the tunnels
with my neighbours
my local strangers
dank and lit by scattered
flickering
fluoro lights
we trod in silence
deeper into the long
long
tunnel
dead straight
i pulled out
the harmonica
from my pocket
and kissed it
the faint harp-humming sound
echoed through the acoustics
- while everyone pretended
not to notice
everyone wondered
how they got
to this point
of mass suicide
through the endless
void
of falling forever
